Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for the Rest of Us

This is an ode to women and men who have yielded to the joys, trials and opportunities of stepparenthood and adoptive-parenthood. For better or for worse, I stepped into the role with open arms less than a year ago.

 

Being closer to 50 than to 40, childbirth is no longer an option in my book of life. I mourned my childlessness ages ago, and resigned myself to a childfree existence by my mid-30s. But my outstanding new husband and stepson are the biggest focus of my life now (as well as my relationship with my savior), enriching it in ways that before they came along I could only imagine. And often didn’t want to imagine. But every soul on this planet grows. We cannot stifle growth and love and learning. Being a new parent is and will continue to be a learning experience.

 

My lovely stepdaughter is a young adult living on her own with her beautiful baby girl, our granddaughter. My stepdaughter doesn’t need another mother, but we have a good relationship nonetheless. My stepson, however, lives with his father and me, and is still a school-aged kid. I am and will be his stepmom.

 

Creating a structured, loving environment for my stepson (as well as for me and my darling husband) is a top priority. When I wrote my marriage vows I included a specially worded paragraph promising to always do my best to help rear these children, and their children, with love and compassion. I tell my stepson that I’m here for him no matter what, and that I love him no matter what. His father and I do not attempt to buy his affections with the latest toy or gadget, but I know some who do. Maybe that works for them, but not in our house.

 

It’s a new family dynamic for all of us. Each have had to adapt, but the most difficult adjustments have fallen to my son. There, I said it – ‘my son.’ Yeah, yeah he has a biological mommie, but I can call him son if I want to. I pray for gentleness, wit, wisdom and patience in parenting this lamb of God. Rearing another woman’s offspring can be trying at times. But here’s the clincher: I have a family now where I once did not. It’s a blessing for which I shall be forever thankful, even on difficult days.

 

This year Mother’s Day took on a whole new meaning. At midlife I became a mom. And a grandma. That is a big deal. Happy Mother’s Day and Happy Father’s Day to all kindred, likeminded stepparents, childless stepparents and adoptive parents and grandparents everywhere.

 

Love,

Jamie