Hookless No. 2

This month marks the 95th anniversary of the zipper. It’s come a long way since its invention in the late 1800s. After two decades of flawed designs and lack of manufacturing equipment, a patent was awarded in April 1913 to Gideon Sundback for his quick closing fastener, the Hookless No. 2.

 

Gaining fast acceptance, zippers were mass produced starting in the 1930s and were used widely in the construction of men’s and children’s clothing. But they were considered inappropriate for ladies’ garments until the late 1950s. Hmm. Apparently women couldn’t be trusted when to zip or unzip.

The term zipper was coined in 1923 by the BF Goodrich Co. for their rubber overshoes featuring the hookless fastener. I’m old enough to remember those…barely.

Dad had a pair of rubber overshoes, also called galoshes (not to be confused with goulash), which fell out of fashion by the early 1970s. This was just as well. Kris and I dared not touch those semi-translucent rubbery things with the wide zipper, gaping open at the back of the coat closet like so much dead wide mouth bass.

 

We grew up wearing parkas – warm coats with big brassy zippers, outer plackets with toggles and fur around the hood. The zipper was awfully cold and uncomfortable when the parka was zipped up to the face. Thankfully today’s coats have a placket behind the zipper, and the zipper is constructed of plastic coils more often than brass alloy teeth.

 

Used mainly in trousers, outerwear and luggage, the zipper has taken its place in the modern world. Zippers are used everywhere, from avant-garde decorations to plastic bags. Integrate the word onto a triple word square in scrabble for 57 points or more. 

 

Although I have never mastered the art of sewing a zipper into a garment, I can think of other creative applications.

 

 

 

Your zipper-head friend,
Jamie

 

Stress Tabs

April is National Stress Awareness Month. Hmm. Is it just me, or do you see a parallel with tax day?

 

Typical stress management techniques like diet, exercise and meditation go a long way to ease the symptoms of stress. But dealing with the root cause is the ticket to curing stress. Or so says one physician who has studied stress and its cures for the past 10 years.

 

I don’t know about you, but the majority of my stressors are interpersonal; people-related, on both personal and professional levels. Dealing with the source of the stress and mending fences sounds like good advice to me. In fact, it’s great advice.

 

Consider Proverbs 3:27 - Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. This speaks not only to giving alms, but also about living in relationship to other human beings. It says that God wants us to love and care for one another, whether we think they deserve it or not. Those who deserve it can know God too, when we bring heaven to earth. If we live as Jesus taught, and put our relationships back to right, perhaps some of the stress of modern life could be vanquished. How’s that for a Stress Tab?

 

Tax deadline looms. Here’s Jamie’s Top Ten List for warding off the stress:

 

1.     Live generously.

            Leads to living joyously.

2.     Forgive those who trespass against us.

            Hard at first; take baby steps.

3.     Learn how to help ease human suffering in Darfur.

Big step.

4.     Develop and maintain healthy relationships.

Feel the stress melting already?

5.     Take a yoga class.

Ack! Get bendy and balanced. Learn how to utilize your breath and hold the downward dog pose. It’s inexpensive and good for the soul. Come with me, Thursdays at 5:30 or Mondays at 6:30.

6.     Open the windows and welcome the fresh April breeze.

Breathe, breathe, breathe!

7.     Worship with me and some other beautiful people at FirstLight.

And serve along with me by signing up to be an Ambiance Roadie. It’s fun and I promise good fellowship. Spread the word.

8.     Bag some lunches for the working class poor.

Oh man. Some folks just need a little boost with a sack lunch so that he can join his fellow on-the-jobbers during lunch break.

9.     Sing silly songs, aloud, together!

You know you love it. I sing 1970s TV songs with my Ohana Deana, folk songs with my sistah Kris, and the bologna song with my Hubs. Late at night I softly sing snippets of lullabies and love songs. I’m not good, but I don’t stink either. And neither do you.

10.    Don’t forget to smell the flowers.

Call me cheesy but don’t forget to smell the hyacinths. Or the coffee. Or the tax rebate. Whatever.

 

Pax vobiscum. Peace be with you.

Jamie

March of the Ants

What is it about ants anyway? I’m talking about the itty bitty sugar ant variety. My sister lovingly refers to them as pissants. Ya gotta laugh at that.

 

 

It must be spring because there are teeny tiny ants in my kitchen. And dining room. And bedroom. And on my laptop screen. Sigh. I think they are lured by dropped morsels of Science Diet Hairball Formula on the floor and blossoms floating in a bowl on my dining table. It’s not that I hate ants. There is much to be learned about ants and their colonies. They live together, in community with one another, sharing their food, serving their parent. That is pretty cool. Humans used to do this all the time. Without other humans the first humans on this wonderful planet couldn’t have survived. God gave Eve to Adam so he wouldn’t be alone, right? And so on, and so on.

 

 

But ants are such a conundrum. What kid hasn’t spent hours thoroughly engrossed in the examination of ant hills? Who among us hasn’t marveled at their ability to communicate with the colony while on their little ant mission trips? While I admire the way of the ant, I most certainly do not admire their presence in my house. Be gone!

 

 

I share my home with ants and cats. Or rather, the ants and cats allow me to live with them. At this moment one of cats is on the kitchen countertop. I don’t think he is hunting ants. Rather, he’s hunting a forgotten glass of water. One of his favorite pastimes is knocking glasses over. My back is turned so that I can sit at the dining table and write. So therefore I do not KNOW that the cat is standing on the countertop, right? WRONG! In about one second I’ll smack his fat cat hindquarter. Things will scatter and there will be loud voices from both human and feline. But later I’ll forgive the cat and he’ll forgive me. Please hold on one moment while I carry out this little reprimand…

 

 

Ok, the deed is done. The cat sulked off to the basement. He’ll be back. If only I could scold the blasted ants. Traps, sprays, and Heloise’s Hints have not worked. I’ll have to exterminate to rid my house of ants. I’ve tried exterminating for cats but for some reason they keep coming back.

 

 

Spring is here; the ants march and the cats misbehave. I welcome your tips on ridding my home of ants. In exchange, you can have your pick of any one of three talkative, inquisitive, handsome cats. Now who lives with whom? Bwa-ha-ha-ha!